We Dip our Pens in Blood and Write the Pain Away

On the Way Home: We are Crossing Over

By: Susan Deborah Schiller

Like the Israelites escaping Egypt to enter the Promised Land, there's a bridge to freedom constructed of our stories. Love always wins. It's time for change – it's time to cross over into YOUR promised land!

I dreamed about helping to build this bridge in 2009, a year when I had fallen very sick. My abdomen was swollen and I had been bleeding every single day for seven months.

Home-bound in rural Montana I kept hearing Papa God's whisper to write my story and to share the stories of other survivors. I dipped my pen in blood and began to write the pain away. The more I wrote, the more I got well.

As I shared my stories, more and more people began to get well, too! I compiled the stories, along with a collection of my journal entries and essays about escaping sociopathic abuse and creating a better world in a free "Write to Freedom" eCourse. 

It's the survivors of sociopathic abuse who are rescuing the victims of a plague that is vastly misunderstood in our communities and churches. Hearing their stories has made the most difference in my life, and now that I'm sharing my own story, rarely a day goes by that I do not hear from a survivor who finally feels she is heard, validated, and supported!

In reading a best seller book called "Little Bee" by Chris Cleave, about correcting injustice, in part, through journalism. The journalist in the book said to Little Bee, a Nigerian woman who escaped the genocide of her village, that they needed to write the stories of the survivors.

Little Bee replied: "You know it is not a good idea to collect stories."

Sarah shook her head, "I don't agree. I think it's the only way we'll make you safe… Our problem is that you only have your own story. One story makes you weak. But as soon as we have one hundred stories, you will be strong. If we can show that what happened to your village happened to a hundred villages, then the power is on our side. We need to collect the stories of people who've been through the same things as you. We need to make it undeniable…."

In Sue Monk Kidd's best-seller called "The Dance of the Dissident Daughter," she writes:

"The truth is, in order to heal we need to tell our stories and have them witnessed. 'All sorrows can be borne if we put them in a story or tell a story about them,' said Isak Dinesen, a writer who had plenty of sorrow and told stories to bear it. The story itself becomes a vessel that holds us up, that sustains, that allows us to order our jumbled experiences into meaning….

"I also needed to hear other women's stories in order to see and embrace my own. Sometimes another woman's story becomes a mirror that shows me a self I haven't seen before. When I listen to her tell it, her experience quickens and clarifies my own. Her questions rouse mine. Her conflicts illumine my conflicts. Her resoutions call forth my hope. Her strengths summon my strengths. All of this can happen even when our stories and our lives are very different.

"Solidarity is identifying with one another without feeling like you have to agree on every issue. It's unity, not uniformity. It's listening without rushing in to fix the problem. It's going deeper than typical ways of talking and sharing – going down to the place where souls meet and love comes, where separateness drops away and you know these women because you are these women." — Sue Monk Kidd (bold mine)

This is my hope, my intention, and my goal in writing my own story, the 101 "Love Wins" stories, and helping you to write your own story!

Instead of blaming, shaming, and shunning, I want to hear ringing in our ears: "Beloved child, you are Home. Your story is our story and our story is your story. We are all One in Christ. We want to hear your voice. Shout if must. Cry if you need to. Sing, draw, write! We need you, beloved one."

I believe God is raising up Dread Champions, like David's Mighty Men, from the survivors of sociopathic abuse. We've been trained in the desert. We've been behind enemy lines.

We've heard and seen what most doctors, therapists, and religious leaders have not learned about, until now. 

This is our inheritance: Every abuse is turned into something Good and Beautiful.

In writing our stories, we are breaking the shame barrier. Instead of silence, we are getting our voices back. Instead of cover up, we are exposing. Instead of cowering, we are gaining the courage to confront evil forces.

We are using our inheritance to rewrite our future and to create our world.

We are His peacemakers. We cry out for justice. We rescue victims. We go after the one who was shunned and abandoned. We doctor the wounds.

Because you got a double dose of trouble and more than your share of contempt, your inheritance in the land will be doubled and your joy go on forever. – Isaiah 61:7

Nothing changes unless we change. The Word of God, a sword in your hand, is "living and active and sharper than a double-edged sword…." 

Faith is using God's Word to tell a story that silences the predators and establishes an abuse-free zone.

Your mission, if you choose to accept it, is to write your own story. We are creating a new family legacy. Family is the backbone of society.

It's time for change! Let's write ourselves into a better world!

With all my love,


Susan Schiller knows how it feels to lose everything: marriage and family, church and reputation, finances and businesses, and more. Susan's upcoming, interactive memoir, "On the Way Home," tells the story of how she came to be known as "the most abused woman" her counselors had yet met and how she learned to navigate her way out of hell to a rich and satisfying life. In her lifetime, Susan has served in duties ranging from home school mom – to pastor -  to full-time deliverance minister – and to Midwest regional prayer coordinator for a large international ministry. These days you can usually find Susan soaking in her favorite hot springs pool, reading a book (or several), blogging, baking bread, or hanging out with her family and friends. You can pre-order a free copy of Susan's upcoming book, "On the Way Home" by registering here.

Copyright 2014, Susan Schiller, http://TeamFamilyOnline.com.  For reprint permission for any private or commercial use, in any form of media, please contact Susan Schiller.

{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }

Joyce Lagana June 2, 2014 at 6:41 am

I love this.  I LOVE THIS!!  It is so right, so true, so on-target.  Oh, that we would stop dwelling in the shadows and step into the light to rescue the world!  Bless you, Sue, for doing just that!


Susan Schiller June 2, 2014 at 10:34 am

You are a hero, Joyce – thank you for your courage and strength in the many battles you have led the charge!


Susan Schiller March 3, 2014 at 6:57 am


You can make great progress spiritually at this time, but you must be willing to let go of everything that will keep you where you are.  Your stubborn refusal to hang on to whatever represents comfort or security will become a stumbling block to your own personal liberty.  Be willing to rise up from where you've been and soar in the Spirit on your thermals of faith, says the Lord.  Isaiah 40:31 But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.


Kellie March 2, 2014 at 1:02 pm

Hi Susan!

Thanks for your comment on my site. Somehow I clicked on your link and got to someone elses site…weird. Oh well, I got the opportunity to read and comment on her post. Your work sounds so interesting. I've always been curious about the lives of victims and their perpetrators. That's likely why I write crime fiction on the side…lol. Keep up your dedication and contribution to the planet! Cheers!


Susan Schiller March 2, 2014 at 1:28 pm

Hi Kellie,

A dream interpretor and a crime fiction writer, and probably more…. I really look forward to getting to know you, Kellie! Thanks for sharing here :)


Sonya Mann January 9, 2014 at 1:58 pm

You have a way with words–very evocative! God bless!


Susan Schiller January 9, 2014 at 4:31 pm

Thank you for your kindness, Sonya, and your very gracious words of encouragement. I am glad you are here and thank you for coming!


marvia November 21, 2013 at 8:57 pm

Love your words Susan. Roaring truth to set captives free.  God's truth cannot be quelled or quenched.  It is water for the soul and rest for the weary.  It is the invitation to join in community with Him.  Good word!!!


Susan Schiller December 5, 2013 at 2:56 pm

Yes, Marvia…. you have His eyes and see the world as He/She does! I like the word, "roar" as well… thank you so, so much for being here, my dear friend!


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