Duplicity – Living a Double Life By: Susan Deborah Schiller I used to be a "successful" Christian – teaching, healing the sick, casting out demons, and training leaders. Now I'm not sure what to call myself, but I left duplicity behind in the pursuit of knowing the Jesus of the gospels. I took off my mask and […]

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Who is He to You? By: Susan Deborah Schiller ~ Images of Jesus, purchased and licensed, from Akiane "You become who you behold," God once whispered into my heart. My gaze so often was focused on negative circumstances, opposition, and oppression in my life. I felt inadequate and lowly, like a worm. That didn't help. […]

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On the day I laid it all down – my ministry, my job, my life… God said to me "From this day on, I will bless you." (Haggai 2:19)  Be merciful to me, Lord, for I am in distress;     … an object of dread to my closest friends—     those who see me on the street flee […]

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Bigger, Better, and More Beautiful because of the Suffering

An Encounter at God's Beauty Spa By: Susan Deborah Schiller  What if the abuse you've endured serves to make you bigger, better, and more beautiful? What if what scares you turns into your greatest source of blessing?​ What if the ugliest things you've seen and heard are being used to make you more beautiful?  What if the weapon […]

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A Lifeline for a Storm-Tossed Survivor

Stand & Shine By: Susan Schiller From the series "Love from Papa' Papa, it's dark out and a chill wind is picking up speed. I hear the cries and groans of all the afflicted, it seems, in between my own sobs. My only hope is you. You are the Light of the World. You are […]

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RUN to Meet Your Enemy! Rak Chazak!

Rak Chazak! Our War Cry! By: Susan Schiller Have you ever felt like your soul was under heavy fire for intense periods of your life? Times as intense as any military battle, maybe more intense… That's when we most need the war cry: "Rak Chazak!" Throughout my life I've had dreams that have helped me to […]

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The Accidental Tourist: A Parable

The Accidental Tourist: A Parable By: Susan Deborah Schiller "You've been living as a tourist in the Kingdom of God," said the voice I've learned to trust as my Father God's. It was a dream, but full of truth, what I call a "dream parable". Like an ordinary child, I argued back, "Oh no, that's not […]

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Wounds are Windows for the Glory of God

Wounds are Windows for the Glory of God By: Susan Deborah Schiller Our wounds are windows that show God's artwork shining through the mosaic of our soul. I believe it's silence and solitude that cause our inner flame to glow. Silence and solitude are our companions on the journey within, which I call "On the Way […]

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What About Forgiveness, When Living With a Sociopath?

What About Forgiveness? By: Susan Deborah Schiller Jesus commanded us to forgive each other, even up to 70 x 7 times, which means "unlimited grace". At the cross, with his dying breath, he prayed, "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do." In Light of His example, what are we to think, when […]

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My Three Healers: Nature, Creativity, and Writing My Story

sunflower be happy

My Three Healers: Nature, Creativity, and Writing My Story By: Susan Deborah Schiller Creativity is the best therapy, for me. Soaking in nature, walking barefoot. I make it my daily practice, as often as I can, anyway! Beauty is God, and God is Beauty. Love is God, and God is Love. Truth is God, and God is Truth. […]

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When A Victim Speaks Up, is it “Airing Dirty Laundry” or Exposing Evil?

When A Victim Speaks Up, is it "Airing Dirty Laundry" or Exposing Evil? By: Susan Deborah Schiller The only thing harder than living with a narcissist or sociopath is leaving one. Here's the trap: When the true victim dares speak up, usually after years of silence, she is told not to "air dirty laundry" – and she […]

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Becoming Real

Becoming Real By: Susan Deborah Schiller "Can anyone hear my silence? Can they hear my tortured screams behind closed doors? Do they see the bruises in my soul, so painful I am crying every day?" These words were penned years ago in one of my journals, following a particularly difficult season.   I am compelled […]

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Grin in the Face of Disaster

To Stand in the Shock Waves and Shine By: Susan Deborah Schiller   Photo Source "I'm grooming you to grin in the face of disaster," I heard Papa God say as I was listening in prayer one day. You see, part of my family legacy is to worry. I tend to worry about things as tenaciously […]

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Why Do I Attract So Many Sociopaths?

She Flew By: Susan Deborah Schiller Why have I attracted sociopaths everywhere I go? What causes them to be drawn to me? So many times I've heard it's because I'm "too nice," "too trusting," and "suffering from low self-esteem".  Over a period of 14 years I have studied sociopaths, up close and personal. I have […]

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Name Your Adversary: Your Core Identity is at Stake

Name Your Adversary: Your Core Identity is at Stake By: Susan Deborah Schiller While there are voices who tell victims to "be nice, don't mention names, and only talk about your issues and problems, not his," I now recognize those voices as siren calls luring me BACK to silence, back to the same victim mentality […]

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Never Give Up

The Greatest Gifts of God are Yours And that includes a home, a job, and "daily bread" By: Susan Deborah Schiller Together, we're pushing through something hugely dark – and it's moving. We're pushing it out of our own hearts and homes, first. Dear heart, your faith, hope, and love are piercingly beautiful! Your fierce […]

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When there Seems to be No Way

His Plan: Abundance, not Scarcity By: Susan Deborah Schiller A Five Minute Friday Writing Exercise (Info to join us is below!) The sparrows in my backyard are a joyful flock, and never appear to mind when the blue jay chases them back to their fence post, or when the blackbirds gobble up the best seeds […]

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Why Knowing Your Enemy Matters

Knowing Your Enemy Matters By: Susan Deborah Schiller I was scared, depressed, and ready to give up. Middle of the night interrogations, gaslighting, and more made my home like a prisoner of war camp. No one saw what was happening, for it was all behind the doors of a "successful ministry" led by a popular […]

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Step into the Light

Step into the Light By: Susan Deborah Schiller Stepping into the Light is scary, because for many survivors of sociopathic abuse it means leaving material security. Even losing everything…. job, ministry, family and friends… it's a grieving that goes deeper than the death of a loved one. It's easier to find closure in the death […]

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Using the “Big Five” Questions to Outline your Stories

Five Big Questions to Flesh our Your Stories By: Susan Deborah Schiller I have been in the company of great women this week.  Each of these women has told me stories of triumphs over adversity in their lives, of lessons it has taken them a lifetime to learn, and it inspired everyone at the table. […]

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